


the flowers will regrow, and so will I

by Gilded_Moon



Category: The Witchlands Series - Susan Dennard
Genre: Angst and Feels, Character Study, F/M, Grief/Mourning, I didn't tag character death since Merik isn't actually dead, Safi thinks he is though, Takes place between windwitch and bloodwitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28461627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gilded_Moon/pseuds/Gilded_Moon
Summary: A short character study of Safi while she processes Merik's (supposed) death.
Relationships: Safiya fon Hasstrel/Merik Nihar
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	the flowers will regrow, and so will I

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first of a few angst stories I have in the works (and the least angsty but shhh). I finished editing early so I though I'd go ahead and post this. I realized we never get to see Safi really process her grief and I wanted to explore that. Enjoy!- Moon

Safi was alone. She excused herself from dinner with Vaness and the Hell-Bards and locked herself in her quarters on the ship. The ship had nearly arrived at Azmir, and Safi wanted to do this before the ship reached the Marstoki capital.

During all the chaos of the contested lands, Safi didn’t have a chance to mourn _him_.

Merik Nihar. Prince of Nubrevna. The man Safi loved.

He was gone. Killed in an explosion on his ship. Oh, how Safi wished her last words to him had not been so prophetic.

_I have a feeling that I will never see you again._

Safi hadn’t even gotten to spend much time with him at least the way she realized they should have been spending their time together all along. The thought sent a wave of grief coursing through Safi’s body and brought her to her knees.

It _hurt. So much_. Merik was dead and Safi would never see his bright eyes or handsome face again. She would never see his passion for life, his passion for his nation and his people again. She would never feel his lips on hers.

A sob tried to escape Safi’s throat and tears poured out of her eyes at the thought. But as much as that hurt her, there was something else that hurt Safi far more.

That of course was the knowledge that eventually Safi’s grief would lessen. The weight on her chest would disappear, and Safi would no longer feel her lungs tighten and her eyes sting at the thought of Merik. One day Safi would even love again. She would find another man or woman who she could love with her entire being. Of course, Safi would never find another Merik Nihar. But she would move on.

Safi hated the thought. She didn’t _want_ to move on. She didn’t _want_ to forget how much Merik meant to her. But she would and there was nothing she could do about it.

Until then, Safi would mourn Merik. She would cry as she did now. She would let her grief press on her chest and her lungs tighten and her eyes sting whenever she remembered him.

Safi would do her best to honor Merik’s memory by trying to by the woman Merik thought she was, thought she could be. Safi would keep loving Merik with her entire heart until the day it made room for someone else.

She stood and climbed into her cot. Her tears stopped falling, and the sobs stopped trying to climb out of her throat.

Safiya fon Hasstrel took a deep breath and allowed happy memories of Merik Nihar to carry her to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> It's New Year's Eve so goodbye to this year (good riddance). I wish y'all a good 2021 and a happy New Year! Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it!- Moon


End file.
